Dear CareerBabe:

I interviewed with a manager on campus for the Testing group at a high tech company. During my interview, I asked to be simultaneously interviewed by the Design group. The Test group manager wanted to hire me but I chose the Design group, which I think hired me because they wanted me to join the company and not go elsewhere. The test group manager later called me and told me that I can switch to his group later if I decide to.

I promised to start working in the Design Group last week. The day I was supposed to show up, I called HR and said my start date needs to be deferred to 4-6 weeks due to unavoidable circumstances. I also left voice mail for my manager and sent him e-mail explaining the situation. He has since then never gotten back to me.

Now I am worried. Will my conduct affect the way the people over there deal with me once I get started? Can I do anything to remedy the situation? First I disappointed the Test manager who brought me in for an interview and then informed my own manager so late about the change of my start date.

Dear Worried:

This is one of those stories where I am holding my head wondering about your logic and your honesty.

In asking the question now "What can I do to remedy this situation?", please bear in mind that you are asking the question after you have already done several things that are red flags for any company's hiring managers and Human Resource Departments!

Bear in mind that when companies hire people, reliability is one of the characteristics. The old adage "You never get a second chance to make a first impression" is something you need to remember since the interview process and when you first go to work for a company are terribly important to your career within that company. Questions to ask yourself:

1. Am I behaving in ways that reflect reliability and integrity during the interview process (and start-up period) so this company knows I am committed to them?
   
   
2. Am I doing things that will hurt/help me during my career?
   
   
3. Am I trying some fancy footwork - after the fact - to cover up what I was really doing (like looking for another job or playing one offer against another)?

Realistically, to me it sounds like you accepted one offer, then had opportunities for other interviews, took those interviews but either did not get a second offer or your felt the first offer was better, so you decided "Yes, this first offer is correct."

Second, you did not alert your manager or the Human Resources person to your problem when you first realized you had a problem. You waited too long! When any candidate (or employee) has a problem that will require a manager's help or understanding, it is best to tell the truth! This includes saying that you need more time to make your decision because there is another opportunity you want to explore that is also interesting to you. You are far better off to alert the person well in advance so they can help you solve the problem and they feel you are being honest with them. When you behave in these ways, you are ignoring the hiring manager's needs to get a product out the door or build a team or meet a deadline, and it is simply "rude."

I want to emphasize that even if you have a second opportunity which you want to explore or accept, if you let a company know what the problem is early enough, they will try to help you solve it. If in fact, you do take the second offer, at least the first company knows what the situation is and they can look for someone else to help meet their needs.

In summary, while you seem to have good technical skills, if I were the company making you a job offer, I would be worried about your reliability in the job and your maturity to stick with decisions once you have made them. I would really not be surprised if the offer is withdrawn; but if it is not, you must go to this company and behave correctly for at least two years or you will certainly be asked to leave.

I hope it works out for you!